Thank you for writing this. I’ve so many friends who are battling this same war of making people understand — especially the family members — that pushing people to marry is like forcing a chick out of an egg even before the egg has come. And on top of that people making marriage sound like it is coveted as if limited stock is available only for so long creates a sense of false urgency and plays with the head, especially when it comes from our parents and friends.
From the people around me, and what I’ve understood about marriage is that, although it commences with love, it sustains only with commitment and respect. And those two can’t be forced, they have to come from within. So unless it’s not the right time, place, and person with a staggering vow to stay committed and give to each other selflessly, marriage doesn’t make sense.
I find what you wrote relatable, because — despite being a boy — I am ‘next in line’ for marriage as they put it, in my family. And that entails recurring passing comments of my marriage on every other occasion. When I tell people that there’s a possibility I might not ever marry, it makes then angry, or even pushes them in denial — How’s that possible? You must be joking, don’t worry you’ll know in time.
We need to continue to strive to do what we feel is right, for intuition is a dependable sense. Despite feeling lonely at times, when so many of our friends might be finding love, marrying and smiling in their instagram photos, we need to find courage to do our own thing, because right thing’s right. Our determination and commitment to what we want to do may falter from time time, and failures from other fields of life will and do not make it easy. But there’s only so much time our body allows in a lifetime. We can’t afford to waste it with the societal structures, whose purpose and meaning has been so fleeting and changing…
I want you to know, that though I’m a mere acquaintance with you, I want you to do what feels right, and in no circumstance, settle for whims of family or friends. There are gazillion smart, kind, loving and caring people in the world in all age groups. When the time comes, you’re going to be a companion to a wonderful one in all aspects — who’ll love and respect you and push to get you out of your comfort zones, while making comfort for you at the same time all the way along.
